What Influences you?

Pop culture. Is it good or is it bad? Has it influenced you or do you not even pay attention to it? I can honestly say some aspects of pop culture have influenced me in some ways. Pop culture includes music, books, and television shows. Some of these things show forms of social reconstruction and how things “should be.” With music I can say it influences me a lot because unlike the normal characteristics of a man, I show emotions. So when I hear a song that deals with a current situation that I’m going through I listen to it and try to do what the song is saying to do to get out of that situation. I’ve been criticized many times because I chose to show my emotions but I don’t let the words of others change me. When it comes to books I also let them influence me some. In Hill Harper’s book “Letters To A Young Brother” he gives a lot of good advice on how to become a successful man in today’s society and how to ignore the messages that media tries to send to us when it comes to the way women are treated and how we as young men should actually treat women with respect and not treat them as objects. Now when it comes to T.V shows they have no influence on me at all. I feel as that my parents raised me to always show equality and never to make myself feel better or inferior to others. When television shows show women and objects or always needing to be rescued from some mistake she made or always show men running things or being demeaning towards women, that actually makes me want to continue to talk to people and tell them how that is not right. Me personally I love to see a woman in power, a woman running things and having people look up to her as an authoritative figure. I love to see shows were women are making it on there own and not depending on someone else to help them. So I guess in a way you can say TV shows do influence me in a positive way. They have shows they show women in empowering positions and that’s something that I would love to have in a woman when I get married. 

Two Lives or Just one.

Abortions. Yes, this entry is about abortions. As sensitive of a subject it is, it comes up. There are so many views and opinions about this topic that people choice to avoid discussing it but we talked about it in class. As we discussed in class no one really likes the idea of an abortion. No one really says “Hey I like abortions and think every woman should have one.”  If any one says that they need to rethink their whole life and the meaning of it.

            The two main categories you hear of are pro-choice and pro-life. Pro-choice basically says that a woman has a choice that if an abortion was needed or if she wanted to get one she could obtain one. With pro-life they basically want to do away with them because they feel that no matter what the fetus is still human. There are some many gray areas when it comes to this subject but I can say that I and pro-choice.  I feel that a woman has every right to do what she pleases and no one should have control over that. When it comes to abortions I know that sometimes they are needed. Sometimes a woman finds out that her body is capable of bearing a child, some find out that the baby might have a sickness or some sort or if the woman has been raped and was impregnated from it.

            Now, here’s the problem that I have, before I state this let me say that these are my points of view and I’m not trying to push them on anyone. This is just how I feel about them.  Now we all know what unprotected sex can lead too. One of these is a woman becoming pregnant. Some people choose to have unprotected sex knowing that this can be one of the results. I can honestly say I’m not favorable of abortions when women are getting them just because they decided not to be careful. I know of a young woman who has had three abortions and says she will continue to get them if she keeps getting pregnant. I asked her why doesn’t she just have protected sex and her response is because I don’t want too.  My sister lost my nephew at five months. She was devastated. It hurt me because that was/is my only nephew. I tell you that to say this, its some women that cant have children, their bodies wont allow them but then you have women out here that are “careless” and when the problem arises they say “oh well I will get an abortion.”

            Like I stated earlier this is just how I feel about them, I’m not attacking women by any means its just I feel there is some unfairness to women who cant bare children when the ones who can are getting rid of them. 

Lets Talk About Sex Baby!!

In my Women Studies class we have talked about so many different topics that could make someone uneasy but I think now we have reached that topic that everyone tries to avoid. Sex. Yes, we are now talking about sex and women’s sexuality, which I must say is very interesting. Of course it’s a tad bit different to me because I’m a male but I still take in all the information that we are discussing.

Recently we had a discussion about sex and having any knowledge about it. Whether it was from watching it on a movie or someone giving you the talk. Some parents make a priority to give their children the sex talk and some try their damn hardest to avoid the topic. I can say my parents were those parents. I have two older sisters and friends gave them the talk and they passed down the knowledge of sex to me until my cousin (who is a guy) stepped in and gave me a man’s perspective of sex. From hearing what my cousin had to say it made me think that a man can have sex when he wants and with whomever he wants, but my sisters showed me that I had to show some respect to a woman and not just think she was a sexual object. I had to actually show her I care for her and not just with her to have sex with her.

Even though my sisters and cousin had a conversation with me about sex I didn’t really start take in the information until I reached middle school. I had a couple girls that were in my class and also around the school that were pregnant. So I would ask how the girl got pregnant and people would look at just laugh at me and later say, “Because she had sex duh!” That’s when friends started to give me information about sex and how it works and what it means.

When I made it to high school sex was the “IT” thing to do. In my mind I also thought that you had to reach a certain age to have sex but I was clearly proved wrong when I was having a conversation with some of my friends. The talk of virginity came up and everybody was telling the age they lost their virginity I was just sitting there like “WOW” When they asked me I told them I still had mine and If looks could’ve killed I would’ve been dead. Throughout my years of high school I held on to my virginity as long as I could but going into my freshman year of college I felt it was only right for me to lose it, and I did. I never gave in to peer pressure or cared about what anybody had to say about me I did on my own on my own time. 

From Your Blog To Mine...

So for this blog i decided to go and read some of my fellow classmates blogs and see how they felt about some of the issues we talk about in class, and i can truly say some of the things we say are the same. Its amazing how someone you just met can share so many similar thoughts and ideas as you. I decided to read and comment on two of my classmates blogs.

Katherine Brock - http://katherinebrock.blogspot.com/2012/09/a-form-of-violent-masculinity.html

Katherine as i was reading this blog it made me think of a similar situation that i was in. I had a friend that went through the same thing. Her boyfriend actually showed emotional and physically violence to her, but she never told us. Whenever things went bad in her relationship she would fake sick so we couldn't see her or hang out until one day we surprised her and saw the marks he left on her! We were livid! but she tried to protect him. As a friend its hard to see your friend going through that much pain, i tried my best to help her get away from him but it made it worse so i had to do my job as a friend and tell her that when she is ready to leave him then do so. He threatened to take his life many times and beat her more if she left until one day she finally lifted her head up and walked out his life. To this day she is doing so much better and there is always a smile on her face! We as friends can try and try to help our friends out of a situation but until they find the strength within themselves to leave we just have to be there for them. So for your friend just be there for her, one day she will realize she is worth so much more and she will get the strength to leave! Keep being that wonderful friend for her!! :))

Loren Burke - http://alwaysawomenofkindwords.blogspot.com/2012/09/it-was-woman-in-this-case.html

Wow!!! I love this!!! I know this might sound crazy but i would rather work at a place where a woman is in charge! Its like they understand you more when things are going wrong or if you are having issues! At my job now my direct manager is a man and my supervisor is a woman and our general manager is a woman and i when i tell you she runs that store like nobodies business!! We had one incident where a customer had an issue with his purchase and asked to speak to a manager. So when our general manager walked up he immediately said "i want to speak to someone higher than her i know a man runs this store." She chuckled and said "Sir I'm the highest you can get in this store, I'm the GM" The left out of the store so quick and we all laughed! Its sad that people are that oppressive without even thinking about it! I love our General manager, she has faith in all of us and trust that we know what we are doing when it comes to our job! She randomly checks on everybody throughout the store and recently when the hurricane hit she called each one of us to make sure we were safe and didn't need anything. Its a major difference from my old job where our GM was a man. So i must say FEMALE GENERAL MANAGERS ROCK!!

Religion and Homophobia

Recently in class we have been discussing religion and sexuality.  We watched a movie entitled For the Bible Tells Me So. I must say this movie was something. Its main focus was how the church (religion) felt about homosexuality. I must say I somewhat understood how some people that are so deep in religion felt about homosexuality but watching this movie showed me that its ten times worse than I thought.

When you think of the church and homosexuality your first instinct is that it’s the most talked about “sin” there is. From watching the movie in class you could easily see that there is some truth to this. Some Christians go by the bible verse Leviticus 18:22 that basically states that homosexuality is an abomination. So many people take this scripture out of context and throw their own beliefs in with it, which is wrong.

From people being raised with this belief so strong that homosexuality the biggest wrong of all wrongs they tend to throw hatred at those who consider themselves homosexuals. Some go as far as beating and killing those who classify themselves as homosexuals. Which if you go to the bible is wrong. God is the one in control of life and death so why not concentrate on those who are killing homosexuals more than homosexuals in general. In the movie For the Bible Tells Me So a man made a comment saying they are helping God by getting rid of homosexuals. My question is since when did God need help handling his business. When it comes to religion and homosexuality it is a very touch subject that causes many arguments and disagreements.

When it comes to my community and the church that I attend, the subject of homosexuality is brought up in some discussions we have in my youth group.  All of us respect the fact that if someone is homosexual who are we to judge their life and make comments about it when we have our own issues. My church does not agree with it  but they are still accepting of that fact that we are all children of God and therefore we must continue to love and support each other. 

Should Love be Painful??

Lately in class we have been talking about violence against women. This issue somewhat gets to me because I have violence point, blank, period. It really aggravates me that a man would even raise his hand to a woman. Violence sometimes starts at a young age if a child sees one of his or her parents getting abused. They either think its ok to do it or for it to be done to them. You would most likely see a mother getting abused than you would a husband. If you were to ask her why she stays and accepts the abuse her answer would be either she is in love or she doesn’t want her children to grow up without a father figure. Some people would say she is dumb for staying with the abuser but unless you have been in the situation you have no room to comment on hers.

I myself haven’t been a victim of violence but I know someone who has and I must say it’s not a pretty thing to go through. She was in high school and had a crush on a guy she met through a friend. They finally start dating and everything was going good until one day they had an altercation. He got so upset with her that he began beating on her. It caught her by surprise but he made her think it was her fault he got that upset. After that she tried her best not to upset him in fear that he would get upset and hit her again. As bad as she tried he still would get upset about the smallest things. If she didn’t text him back within the first 10 minutes of him sending the message, whenever he got around her he would beat her for it.

One day she called me and asked would I ever hit a woman, I told her no never because I wouldn’t want anyone to put their hands on my mother, grandmothers, aunties, or girl cousins. She immediately started crying and I knew something was wrong. She began to tell me everything. I told her that I still loved her the same but she had to find the inner strength to leave him. She deserved better and her life is much more valuable than she thought she was. A few weeks later she called me and told me she left him and finally told her parents what was going on. They got her help to cope with the situation and also turned him into the police.

As hard as it may seem to leave or get away from abuse, if you are getting abused you have to find your way out. No one on this earth deserves to be beat for things they didn’t do. Be strong and have faith. 

I can do anything better than you!!!

There has been many times where I have heard or even witnessed with my own eyes people being scolded for doing things outside of their gender. I myself have dealt with it from my own parents but more so my dad.

            I am the youngest of three, and my older siblings are two girls. So growing up I saw a lot of things that they would do and would want to do it myself. If I came down to either playing outside with my sisters and their friends or either doing some of the activities they were doing.  As a child I didn’t see a gender specific role or activity being preformed I just saw my sister having fun and I wanted to have that same fun! My dad had no problem with me playing with my sister but when it came down to doing other things like cheerleading and things like that my dad was so against it.

            I will never forget this one time I went to my sister’s football game where she was cheering her first game. I was so excited to see her on the field having fun and apart of me wanted to be down there with her. I wasn’t paying that much attention to the actual football game I just noticed that my sister was having so much fun on the field with her squad.

            When we left the game I asked my mom could I join the team and she gave me the strangest look and laughed it off. When we made it home I went to play with my toys as usual then my dad came to me and told me we were about to take a ride. As we were driving around the neighborhood my dad gave me a talk about how cheerleading was a girl’s thing and I couldn’t be apart of it. I asked him why and he just told me that it wasn’t made for me. So as a child I just understood that cheerleading wasn’t for me and to just let it go. A couple weeks later I joined a baseball team and loved every minute of it.