Lately
in class we have been talking about violence against women. This issue somewhat
gets to me because I have violence point, blank, period. It really aggravates
me that a man would even raise his hand to a woman. Violence sometimes starts
at a young age if a child sees one of his or her parents getting abused. They
either think its ok to do it or for it to be done to them. You would most
likely see a mother getting abused than you would a husband. If you were to ask
her why she stays and accepts the abuse her answer would be either she is in
love or she doesn’t want her children to grow up without a father figure. Some
people would say she is dumb for staying with the abuser but unless you have
been in the situation you have no room to comment on hers.
I
myself haven’t been a victim of violence but I know someone who has and I must
say it’s not a pretty thing to go through. She was in high school and had a
crush on a guy she met through a friend. They finally start dating and
everything was going good until one day they had an altercation. He got so
upset with her that he began beating on her. It caught her by surprise but he
made her think it was her fault he got that upset. After that she tried her
best not to upset him in fear that he would get upset and hit her again. As bad
as she tried he still would get upset about the smallest things. If she didn’t text
him back within the first 10 minutes of him sending the message, whenever he
got around her he would beat her for it.
One
day she called me and asked would I ever hit a woman, I told her no never because
I wouldn’t want anyone to put their hands on my mother, grandmothers, aunties,
or girl cousins. She immediately started crying and I knew something was wrong.
She began to tell me everything. I told her that I still loved her the same but
she had to find the inner strength to leave him. She deserved better and her
life is much more valuable than she thought she was. A few weeks later she
called me and told me she left him and finally told her parents what was going
on. They got her help to cope with the situation and also turned him into the
police.
As
hard as it may seem to leave or get away from abuse, if you are getting abused
you have to find your way out. No one on this earth deserves to be beat for
things they didn’t do. Be strong and have faith.
This is an excellent post and I enjoy reading it. I too have never been a victim of physical violence/abuse but one of my dear friends did. She stayed with him even though he beat her, lying to her friends and family, until he almost killed her the night of our senior prom. No one even knew was abusing her until that night. The only reason she survived is because she accidentally pressed on her cellphone while he was beating her and it called her parents who could hear their daughter begging for her life and the voice of her then boyfriend yelling at her and beating her. They called the cops and sped to his house which was right next to mine. They got there and saved her within minutes of the call. If the cellphone hadn't miraculously called her parents she probably would have died that night. Everyone was supportive of her after that but we were all confused as to why she would stay with someone like him until literally the law had to separate them. She was a beautiful girl, made good grades, etc. etc. It's just that even when girls in those situations deserve more they have such low self-esteem or they have been beaten into submission that they think they can't do better or deserve what's being done to them. It's so sad. Family members and friends can help by paying close attention to the signs and not hesitating to ask.
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