Should Love be Painful??

Lately in class we have been talking about violence against women. This issue somewhat gets to me because I have violence point, blank, period. It really aggravates me that a man would even raise his hand to a woman. Violence sometimes starts at a young age if a child sees one of his or her parents getting abused. They either think its ok to do it or for it to be done to them. You would most likely see a mother getting abused than you would a husband. If you were to ask her why she stays and accepts the abuse her answer would be either she is in love or she doesn’t want her children to grow up without a father figure. Some people would say she is dumb for staying with the abuser but unless you have been in the situation you have no room to comment on hers.

I myself haven’t been a victim of violence but I know someone who has and I must say it’s not a pretty thing to go through. She was in high school and had a crush on a guy she met through a friend. They finally start dating and everything was going good until one day they had an altercation. He got so upset with her that he began beating on her. It caught her by surprise but he made her think it was her fault he got that upset. After that she tried her best not to upset him in fear that he would get upset and hit her again. As bad as she tried he still would get upset about the smallest things. If she didn’t text him back within the first 10 minutes of him sending the message, whenever he got around her he would beat her for it.

One day she called me and asked would I ever hit a woman, I told her no never because I wouldn’t want anyone to put their hands on my mother, grandmothers, aunties, or girl cousins. She immediately started crying and I knew something was wrong. She began to tell me everything. I told her that I still loved her the same but she had to find the inner strength to leave him. She deserved better and her life is much more valuable than she thought she was. A few weeks later she called me and told me she left him and finally told her parents what was going on. They got her help to cope with the situation and also turned him into the police.

As hard as it may seem to leave or get away from abuse, if you are getting abused you have to find your way out. No one on this earth deserves to be beat for things they didn’t do. Be strong and have faith. 

I can do anything better than you!!!

There has been many times where I have heard or even witnessed with my own eyes people being scolded for doing things outside of their gender. I myself have dealt with it from my own parents but more so my dad.

            I am the youngest of three, and my older siblings are two girls. So growing up I saw a lot of things that they would do and would want to do it myself. If I came down to either playing outside with my sisters and their friends or either doing some of the activities they were doing.  As a child I didn’t see a gender specific role or activity being preformed I just saw my sister having fun and I wanted to have that same fun! My dad had no problem with me playing with my sister but when it came down to doing other things like cheerleading and things like that my dad was so against it.

            I will never forget this one time I went to my sister’s football game where she was cheering her first game. I was so excited to see her on the field having fun and apart of me wanted to be down there with her. I wasn’t paying that much attention to the actual football game I just noticed that my sister was having so much fun on the field with her squad.

            When we left the game I asked my mom could I join the team and she gave me the strangest look and laughed it off. When we made it home I went to play with my toys as usual then my dad came to me and told me we were about to take a ride. As we were driving around the neighborhood my dad gave me a talk about how cheerleading was a girl’s thing and I couldn’t be apart of it. I asked him why and he just told me that it wasn’t made for me. So as a child I just understood that cheerleading wasn’t for me and to just let it go. A couple weeks later I joined a baseball team and loved every minute of it. 

Are You a Feminist?!

            So it’s the fall semester of my senior year and I chose to take a course entitled Women’s Studies. First thing that came to my mind was that this was a class that focused on the function of women and how they operate, and also because I didn’t want to take another English class.

            Going into my first day of class I expected this class to be about the study of women, of course, meaning studying how women operate why they do some of the things they do and just an all around overview of how women think.  Now, on the first day of this class we talked about the main topic or question of “What is a feminist?” When the instructor asked that question my first answer or image that came to me was a woman who hated men and was all about woman empowerment. Also I thought of a woman who didn’t take care of herself or care about her appearance. She would not shave or her hair was never done or she was always loud and disruptive. Then I sat back and thought to myself “Wait. Am I feminist? NO! Can’t be! Only women can be feminist”

            So the instructor went on to give a basic definition of what a feminist was, and it hit me. “Wait. I agree with all those things so does that make me a feminist.” As she went on to give a more in depth definition, she explained that men could also be feminist. Its just when a man hears the word “Feminist” the immediately think of a woman because of the first three letters in the word, I know I did.

            According to Dictionary.com the definition of a feminist is advocating social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men. After reading that definition I could say that I would consider myself a feminist, I believe that women should have all equal rights just as men do.